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Jack’s Beanstalk vs. Girl’s Pumpkin Patch

It started as a little sprout.  I didn’t plant it, it just appeared one day.  Should I pull it? Is it a pumpkin? Aww, isn’t it cute?  At first. 

The sprout sprang up in the crevice between our cement patio and the pebble stone walkway. The pumpkin vine and I, we played a little dance.  It grew, I pulled weeds around it.  It grew, I mowed the yard around it. It grew, I walked around it to get to my car. It grew, we ALL had to hop around it to get into the house.

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At first, it was fun.  Good times! And then it got weird. I was born and raised in Indiana and I started to wonder, are these even pumpkins or some strange hybrid from a Monsanto seed spun off a tire of an overpassing crop duster?  I’ve never seen pumpkin leaves grow so wide, vines so long, and a patch so insane.

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As the pumpkin patch grew to unbelievable size, nearing 4’ tall and 18’ in length, I couldn’t help but think, either this is a sign or life lesson! What can it mean? What is this trying to tell me?

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And BAM! An idea: It must have something to do with “Jack and The Beanstalk”!  Not exactly similar, but let’s…. roll with it.  I really did think to myself, there must be something to learn from Jack! I knew the story involved some magic beans, but that’s all I could remember.  According to Wikipedia, “Jack and The Beanstalk” was first printed as an English Fairy Tale in 1807.  “Jack and The Beanstalk” was just one in a series of stories about Jack, some of which were preserved by oral tradition in the American Appalachian area.  So, no, not an Indiana backyard tale, but close enough and oddly interesting.
Here is my summary of “Jack and The Beanstalk” for you;
1.  Young man lives with widowed mother. They don’t have squat.  He doesn’t have a job but to sell the milk of their beloved cow “Old Buttercup”.

2. When “Old Buttercup” (guess, not so beloved) stops producing milk, Jack’s mom sends him to the market to sell her.

3.  Jack had ONE job.

4.  Jack meets a hustler on the road. Trades Old Buttercup for 3 magic beans!

5.  When I picture Jack, I picture this…..

The Fool[5]

6.  Jack skips home to show his ‘ma the beans! And she’s pissed!

7.  Jack’s mama pitches the beans out the door.

8.  Oh, but overnight, the beanstalk grows into the sky!

9.  Jack climbs up the stalk to find a castle, a wife and a giant.

10. The wife hides Jack to save him from the giant (never an advisable practice).

11. In hiding, Jack spies all the riches.

12.  Jack becomes a thief. He returns to the castle three times — to steal what is not his!

13.  Some gold, a gold laying goose, and a golden harp! Gone.

14.  Jack has no remorse, he is busy proving he is NOT the fool. He is giddy.

15. Now, the giant is pissed!

16. And the wife, a sucker!

17.  Jack cuts the stalk down, kills the giant before being caught! He is now a murderer!

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18. Jack is so proud and entirely rich! And his mom believes him not a fool nor a thief!

19. We all grow up thinking Jack is a hero.  Isn’t that strange all the sudden?

20. What The Stalk?!

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I have REALLY digressed! My point being, I’m in a transitional time of my life, and still, I’m at a loss, dear Pumpkin Patch.  At a LOSS! Maybe it doesn’t mean a damn thing.  The only giant I have, is a giant pumpkin patch! Maybe the life lesson is even the most precious of things planted  (or seeds dropped by some alien spacecraft) in the wrong place or at the wrong time, can ruin you’re whole…..damn yard!

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But you know me, I’m too sensitive.  It’s too late, I can’t kill the pumpkin patch! I will see it through til the end!  Is there a Tarot Card for that!?

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Why do I have a feeling somebody will comment that these are NOT pumpkins! They are very green, don’t you think? Maybe the moral of the story is A) Don’t be Jack,  B) Live and let grow, C) Pull that sprout out before it overtakes your….life!  You tell me?

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